What Men Often Seek First

Men are the traditional pursuers in dating, and intrinsically have a stronger desire than women to chase their objects of affection.

This is an intrinsic, natural and also respectable trait because this trait will cause a man to deeply protect the woman they care for, and go to extreme lengths to do so. They will walk through fire and danger to make sure those whom they deeply care about are safe, and will brave many circumstances and situations to ensure their safety, once they are committed.

Although very respectable, there is a side of this trait of pursuing that women need to be aware of for their own hearts.

Men, being the pursuers naturally, can become extremely focused on pursuing sexually. Women not having this strong of a driving factor, can often feel that sex is about emotions and wanting to be closer to a person; but men see it completely differently. For men, it's not about coming together in a closer, emotional way, it's a purely driven way that is about the chase. In a committed, monogamous relationship later on, this changes for him and can definitely be a way to spend time together and be closer.

He may try to push your boundaries and see how far you will be willing to go. This is a test, and it's important to stand strong in your values when he does this. If he is interested in and ready for commitment, he will happily wait for you to be ready, if not, he will be long gone- which is a good thing!

The catch with sex outside of the confines of a committed, monogamous relationship, the man will still see it as a chase- he will continue to either pursue you, someone else, or both, which can be heartbreaking for a woman. I've written more about this in another article that explains what happens in our bodies chemically during sex and why it matters in: Don't Put the Cart Before the Horse

Just something to keep in mind, as both males and females view sex in different ways and for different reasons.

My advice (from experience): don't have sex with someone unless you both have agreed to be in a monogamous, committed relationship together and have given it time to be sure that it's serious. Ideally, save for marriage which is the ultimate form of commitment.